Choosing and using a dildo

A dildo is one of the most versatile toys you can own, but it comes wrapped in a stubborn myth: that bigger is automatically better. It isn't. The toy that feels best is the one matched to the sensation you're after and used with a bit of patience — and that's usually not the largest one on the shelf.

Choose for the feeling, not the number

Before size, think about sensation. Width creates a sense of fullness and stretch — a present, filled feeling — while length governs how deep it reaches. A gentle curve helps the tip press the front wall, where the G-spot area sits, so a curved shape is worth considering if internal pressure is what you enjoy. There's no prize for going big: a moderate, comfortable toy you can relax around will always feel better than an ambitious one you're tensing against. If you're between sizes, start smaller; you can always size up later.

Material matters

For an easy first toy, body-safe silicone is the standout. It's non-porous, simple to clean thoroughly, and gentle on skin. Glass and stainless steel are also body-safe and hold temperature nicely if you like warming or cooling a toy. The materials to avoid are the cheap, porous, strong-smelling ones — jelly and soft PVC — which are harder to clean properly. Match your lube to the toy, too: water-based lube works with everything, while silicone lube can degrade a silicone toy's surface, so keep those two apart.

Warm up before anything goes in

The single biggest comfort upgrade is not rushing the start. Get genuinely aroused first — the body opens up and relaxes when it's turned on, and a cold start fights that every time. Spend real time on whatever reliably warms things up before the toy appears at all. Warm the toy itself in your hands so it isn't a shock, and use more lube than feels necessary, topping it up as you go since friction is the enemy of comfort. Then glide it over the outside first, with no rush to go in, and ease it in bit by bit, pausing at each depth to let the body adjust before going further. Let the receiver call for the next inch rather than guessing — there's no prize for speed, and a relaxed body welcomes far more than a tense one. If anything pinches or burns, that's a signal to pause and add lube, not to push through.

Angle the tip, don't just thrust

Once it's comfortably in, the obvious move is to slide it in and out — but some of the best sensation comes from a different motion entirely. Tilt the toy so its tip presses against the inner walls and rock it in slow circles, massaging from the inside rather than thrusting. This is where a curved, firm-shaped toy shines: angled against the front wall, it gives a deep, full pressure that plain in-and-out can't. You can also slide it fully in and simply hold it still, savouring the fullness with no motion at all.

Pair it with the clitoris

For most people, internal fullness is a supporting act, not a soloist. Combining the dildo with clitoral stimulation — a free hand, a partner's, or a small vibrator — usually feels dramatically bigger than either alone. Use one hand for the toy and the other (or a partner) on the clitoris, and let the two sensations build together.

Afterward

Clean the toy with warm water and a mild, unscented soap, dry it, and store it somewhere clean — silicone, glass and steel all wash up easily, which is part of why they're worth choosing. Treat the whole thing as relaxed exploration: there's no required size, depth or finish line, just the version that feels good to you tonight.